Point 9 from Sometimes my Heart Hurts for your Child
Over on Speaking of Autism… Quincy has written a heartfelt piece aimed primarily at the autism community, but it is also relevant to the wider neurotypical (non-autistic) community.
The article is quite long (approximately 9 minutes reading time), and each of the points Quincy makes shows how much the autism community fails to understand the autistic community. For this reason, I’m re-posting each point as a separate article here, because each point is important.
Before I start, I feel I need to explain the difference between the “autism community” and the “autistic community” The autistic community consists of people who are autistic, whereas the autism community consists mainly people who are directly or indirectly involved with autistic people (typically family members and those involved in the “treatment” of autism), but are not typically autistic themselves.
Each of Quincy’s points illustrates just how far the autism community and the wider community has to go to meet the autistic community even part way.
You share intimate and private details about your child without obtaining their consent.
There has been a trend by which people detail very private and personal information about their autistic children publicly online. They film meltdowns and post the videos. They post their child’s toileting habits and potty charts. They share all of their diagnoses and medical histories. All without any semblance of an OK from their child. And it needs to stop.
Can’t we have some semblance of empathy? Would you want someone to post such details about you on the internet, open for everyone from friends to future dates to future employers to see? No? Then why are you posting this about your autistic kids? Some will defend this practice, saying it’s for “awareness,” and others unapologetically do it to try to gain sympathy for how “hard” it is to raise an autistic child. I don’t believe either of those are anywhere close to valid reasons to expose your child like that, but either way, intent does not erase harm.
