Another Spectrum

Personal ramblings and rants of a somewhat twisted mind

Aspie Challenge #7

7 Comments

Empathy

Contrary to popular myth, I do not lack empathy. It’s you who fails to recognise my way of experiencing and expressing it.

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Author: Barry

A post war baby boomer from Aotearoa New Zealand who has lived with migraines for as long as I can remember and was diagnosed as being autistic aged sixty. I blog because in real life I'm somewhat backwards about coming forward with my opinions.

7 thoughts on “Aspie Challenge #7

  1. How could anyone think you lack empathy?

    • Ignoring for the moment the virtual world of the blogosphere, how do you recognise when one is expressing empathy with you? For example, you’ve just received some wonderful news: you tell someone the good news. How do you know they share your joy? Or how about after receiving some very sad news: how do you know someone feels for you?

      • I will use an extreme
        If I told you I have just lost my dear mother and you laughed, it would be hard to convince me you are empathetic.
        If I said I got the job I have been dreaming about, which I have always told you about, and you act uninterested, I would think you don’t share in my joys. So it is visual cues, manner of speech or gestures

        • Precisely. I don’t have body language or vocalisation which varies with emotion. I have to act out what I believe are the appropriate mannerisms for a particular situation otherwise others think I’m disinterested or have no empathy. If I forget to act or get it wrong, then I can appear heartless or worse. A good example of how the empathy of an autistic person is misunderstood can be seen in this post: Reaction Fail

        • I have had no experience, in person, with an aspie. I think an encounter would leave me either confused or enraged. But now that you say it, maybe I could be sympathetic if I met an aspie

        • What you say might be your reaction is something Aspies and other autistics face on a daily basis. It was why I was assaulted several times in my teens. Admittedly assaults are rare, but other forms of angry response can be just as hurtful to the recipient.


  2. https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsOh, thank you for posting this. I was diagnosed later in life but my son was diagnosed in the 80’s before google. Not much info then and most of it was wrong. But no way can I understand who came up with the “lack of compassion” tag. I was a bleeding heart hippie and my son always demonstrated compassion appropriately (before being old enough to learn how to fake it). Looking forward to reading your posts

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