What a load of bull!

10 Sep, 2015 by Barry 1 Comment

Whenever I travel to Whanganui to visit friends and family, I pass through the small town of Bulls (population: 1,800). There is not much that is particularly remark-a-bull about the town, except it enjoys making unforget-a-bull puns with its name. They are to be seen everywhere, which does make the town rather memor-a-bull. A large sign as you enter Bulls makes it obvious that the locals enjoy making fun of the name: Herd of Bulls? It’s a town like no udder.

Some of the puns are terr-a-bull, others are incred-a-bull. So here, without further ado are just a few of the building signs that can bee seen as you pass through.

• Avail-a-bull: Dairy (convenience store)
• Bank-a-bull: Bank
• Const-a-bull: Police station
• Cure-a-bull: medical centre
• Delect-a-bull: Café
• Eat-a-bull: A delicatessen
• Everything imagine-a-bull: Farm park & café
• Extinguish-a-bull: Fire station
• Fashion-a-bull: Women’s apparel
• Forgive-a-bull: Anglican church
• Full-as-a-bull: local pub
• Indispense-a-bull: Pharmacy
• Inform-a-bull: The information centre
• Irresist-a-bull: Sweet shop (candy store)
• List-a-bull: A real estate agency
• Live-a-bull: Another real estate agency
• Love-a-bull: Childcare centre
• Memor-a-bull: Museum
• Non-return-a-bull: Plunket Society (support services for the development, health and well-being of children under 5)
• Park-a-bull: A car park (parking lot)
• Read-a-bull: Public Library
• Reliev-a-bull: Public restrooms
• ReSpect-A-bull: RSA (Returned Services Association – a non-profit society for ex-military personnel)
• Stock-a-bull: Supermarket
• Store-a-bull: Storage facility
• Social-a-bull: Town hall
• Veget-a-bull: Fruit & vegetable shop
• Wear-a-bull: Clothing shop

They haven’t stopped at building signs. For example, wording on public rubbish bins (trash cans) urge you to be “RESPONSE-A-BULL”.

One company in particular (Palat-a-bull) has taken the Bulls branding to another level. Here’s a list of some of their products:

• Genuine Bulls Cream – Cream from Bulls (cream)
• Bulls Semen – extracted from Bulls with their consent (salad sauce)
• Bulls Eye Chilli Sauce – This ‘lord of the ring’ chilli sauce was tested on Bulls
• Grill-a-Bulls (a range of sausages)
• Bulls Wool – It’s about ewe and your baa skin (a range of merino wool products)

A signpost at the intersection of two highways even includes a sign pointing to Cowes in Australia!

What makes this town so remark-a-bull is that it’s the only place in the world where you can get milk from Bulls. I think that’s enough puns for one day.