Whenever I travel to Whanganui to visit friends and family, I pass through the small town of Bulls (population: 1,800). There is not much that is particularly remark-a-bull about the town, except it enjoys making unforget-a-bull puns with its name. They are to be seen everywhere, which does make the town rather memor-a-bull. A large sign as you enter Bulls makes it obvious that the locals enjoy making fun of the name: Herd of Bulls? It’s a town like no udder.
Some of the puns are terr-a-bull, others are incred-a-bull. So here, without further ado are just a few of the building signs that can bee seen as you pass through.
- Avail-a-bull: Dairy (convenience store)
- Bank-a-bull: Bank
- Const-a-bull: Police station
- Cure-a-bull: medical centre
- Delect-a-bull: Café
- Eat-a-bull: A delicatessen
- Everything imagine-a-bull: Farm park & café
- Extinguish-a-bull: Fire station
- Fashion-a-bull: Women’s apparel
- Forgive-a-bull: Anglican church
- Full-as-a-bull: local pub
- Indispense-a-bull: Pharmacy
- Inform-a-bull: The information centre
- Irresist-a-bull: Sweet shop (candy store)
- List-a-bull: A real estate agency
- Live-a-bull: Another real estate agency
- Love-a-bull: Childcare centre
- Memor-a-bull: Museum
- Non-return-a-bull: Plunket Society (support services for the development, health and well-being of children under 5)
- Park-a-bull: A car park (parking lot)
- Read-a-bull: Public Library
- Reliev-a-bull: Public restrooms
- ReSpect-A-bull: RSA (Returned Services Association – a non-profit society for ex-military personnel)
- Stock-a-bull: Supermarket
- Store-a-bull: Storage facility
- Social-a-bull: Town hall
- Veget-a-bull: Fruit & vegetable shop
- Wear-a-bull: Clothing shop
They haven’t stopped at building signs. For example, wording on public rubbish bins (trash cans) urge you to be “RESPONSE-A-BULL”.
- Genuine Bulls Cream – Cream from Bulls (cream)
- Bulls Semen – extracted from Bulls with their consent (salad sauce)
- Bulls Eye Chilli Sauce – This ‘lord of the ring’ chilli sauce was tested on Bulls
- Grill-a-Bulls (a range of sausages)
- Bulls Wool – It’s about ewe and your baa skin (a range of merino wool products)
A signpost at the intersection of two highways even includes a sign pointing to Cowes in Australia!
What makes this town so remark-a-bull is that it’s the only place in the world where you can get milk from Bulls. I think that’s enough puns for one day.