Sometimes I wonder if Kiwis speak English. Here’s a challenge for all you non-New Zealanders. Below is a video clip from YouTube, featuring New Zealander Steven Adams.
Don’t play it yet!
Steven is a member of the Oklahoma City Thunder Basketball team. The clip is an ad for BancFirst, and it includes subtitles for those who have trouble understanding him.
The challenge is to listen to the clip with your eyes closed, and try to understand what Steven says. If you find that too much, I have included his script below the clip. Don’t cheat. Listen first, before reading it. Once you think you understand his message, play the clip again and watch the subtitles. How well did you do?
Don’t read the script below until after you have listened to the video above
Kia ora. I’m Steven Adams. I’m a Kiwi dude who has a new bach right here in Oklahoma. Because I’m a bit of a dag, BancFirst has asked me to spin a bit of a yarn with you about what makes them so choice. Tu meke. So I’d better get my A into G. It’s all about one word that means the same all over the world – Loyal. You’d have to be two sammies short of a picnic not to bust a gut to do all your banking with BancFirst. Whether you’re loaded or on the dole, they treat you like relies, they never spit the dummy, and they always put in a hard day’s yakka. So, if you’re a bright spark. you have a geez at them, and if you do, you deserve a chocolate fish. And since they’re in over 50 communities across Oklahoma, you won’t have to take a tiki tour to find them. BancFirst. Loyal to Oklahoma. Loyal to you. Sweet as.
Another Spectrum 
20 Mar, 2015 at 1:01 am
Because you explained it once- I know what a chocolate fish is, but the rest is pretty much lost on me..
20 Mar, 2015 at 7:39 am
Does that apply to the transcript as well a to the vernacular?
20 Mar, 2015 at 9:26 am
I did get more from the transcript but not all.
20 Mar, 2015 at 3:26 am
That’s a whole lotta slang, Barry. I remember chocolate fish, I think “A into G” stands for “ass into gear,” and I got the sammies short of a picnic reference. Oh, and I got the “relies” one too.
I didn’t get a lot of the other stuff, and I had to admit that I didn’t understand “on the dole” until I read your transcript. I would have gotten it if I knew the word was “dole.”
Overall, most of the slang he used was intuitive. Now watch, he’s introduced the US to all this Kiwi slang, and now we’re all going to be talking about chocolate fish up here.
20 Mar, 2015 at 8:17 am
Adams has already partially picked up what we would call an “American twang” His vowels have shifted slightly away from the NZ norm. You notice that when he says “fish”. Often Americans mistake our pronunciation as “fush”, but his vowels are unlikely to be mistaken.
You’re sort of correct with “A into G”, except here “ass” is a donkey (or a fool), pronounced as in America. The “A” Adams is referring to is “arse”, in which the vowel sound is more like that in “car” (without the rhotic “r”).
With regards to “dole”: Kiwis often pronounce a trailing “l” almost as a “w”, especially after an “e”. For example, “tell” might sound like the first part of “towel” (without the “el” ending).
As for chocolate fish, it’s not just an expression here. The real deal is often used as a token reward. They are available any were you can buy sweets [=candy].
20 Mar, 2015 at 9:33 am
I got the gist of what he was saying and actually comprehended more than I thought I would. That was fun.